I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
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the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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