Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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