I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
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ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
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If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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