SEEEEXXX PLEASE
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize