Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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