We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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