Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
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The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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