Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize