what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
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she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
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While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize