I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize