did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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