She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Can vaginas get frostbite?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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