I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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