I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize