Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
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I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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