my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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