u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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