everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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