I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
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You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
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I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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