Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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