Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize