Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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