Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
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I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
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Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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