So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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