Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize