Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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