That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize