Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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