That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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