Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize