Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The struggles of a small town man whore
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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