weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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