dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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