its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize