Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize