thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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