lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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