u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize