so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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