you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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