Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
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Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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