my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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