My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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