She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
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So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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