Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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