You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize