i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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