That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize