I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The uberlube is also flammable
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize