Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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